BRAIN GAINS

Today, the bar told me some things about myself.

Lifters know how much there is to be learned from lifting (a beautiful depiction of this is written here - Why Women Need Iron) - both physically and metaphorically. I'm learning more and more that these lessons are somehow physical and metaphor all at the same time. Your mind goes through just about as much as your body does during a heavy lift, a tough training cycle, an injury or a victory. I've learned many, many life lessons though athletics but none quite like the knowledge bombs that heavy lifting drops.

This morning in particular, the bar shared with me some things I probably didn't want to hear - and I really don't like being told what to do.
The blessing and the curse with heavy weight is just that - it's heavy. It's heavy and it's honest. There's no circumventing 100 pounds because 100 pounds is always going to weigh 100 pounds and it's going to tell you exactly what it is - 100 pounds.
The road to that 100 pounds is exactly what it is, there's no cheating it (ok so that's debatable but let's put on our drug-free caps here). While on that road, each milestone has to be conquered otherwise 100 pounds is going to sit right where it's at with it's 100 pound self - out of reach. It's not fleeting and it's not trying to trick anyone by getting heavier, it's just waiting there for it's seeker to patiently stay the course and do the work. Then that 100 turns to 150 or 200 and the game is just the same.

My 100 pounds (175 to be exact) told me I was a runner.

After a few climbing sets to warm-up, I strapped on my brand new sparkly white belt and approached my heavy set of 8. In it's regular, honest fashion - that sh!* was heavy. I dropped into the squat and all of the "I can't" voices started. The irritation that the first one was this hard, that it was Monday, that it was 6am, that I definitely couldn't be expected to do 8 without rest.
I stood after my second and asked my coach if he was serious - like it was his fault. I wanted to hear a "whoops my bad" or "no just do a few" to validate my negative thoughts and make me feel like they weren't weakness whining.

No dice.

Every single squat was honest with me. Every single squat weighed 175lbs and it wasn't going to give me an easy out or a modifier to help me "feel" strong - I had to be  strong.

So I was. I felt every pound and every rep. I lifted the weight for exactly what it was and I listened to what it had to tell me.

The finest Strug Face in the West

It hit me that when things get uncomfortable and heavy in my lifts, I want to find the excuse as to why I don't feel powerful. I want to hear a modifier or a reason as to why it's hard - almost excusing my weakness. In my life I do the same thing. I know I have a strong work ethic and that I can push through bad situations, yet when these things reveal themselves I oppose them. I oppose change, I oppose the hard things and the things that hurt or are uncomfortable. I'd rather run from these things than deal with them even when I know I eventually will.

When the weight got heavy and the lift got hard - I was exposed. Not just my body but my mind. Instead of pushing my body through the honesty of the weight I opposed it. Instead of focusing on the empowerment of my physical strength I was impatient and let 'heavy' translate as 'impossible'.

Certain things in life can't be run from. Certain things have to be conquered on the road to whatever life's 100lbs may be - otherwise it's never obtained. 100lbs is going to be 100lbs and it's not going to change itself so I can feel comfortable.


Cheers to #MoneyOnThaFloMonday

RECAP POSTCAP

I know, I know.. It's been a good couple of weeks since we finished Nationals and we've kept you on the edge of the your seats in anticipation of hearing about our experience ☺ 
Ok, you probably weren't on the edge of your seats but we do apologize for keeping you waiting.
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A lot of naps were in order, you understand.
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Jumping right into it, Ti and I qualified for the chance to compete in the full meet at the USPA Powerlifting Nationals that were held in Las Vegas. Just for some context, this is one of the largest competitions that plays host to the best of the best from around the Nation. We were 2 of 319 total lifters along with the rest of our Game Time Strength team (find out more about GTS here).
Also, when I say "full meet" I mean that we qualified to lift in the squat, bench and deadlift as opposed to just one of them. 

For the last couple years I've been competing at the lower end of the 165 weight class & Ti has been in the 148 weight class since she's started. I've been feeling extremely strong where I was, but against my coaches' professional opinion I decided to drop down a weight class to 148 to try & set records in the class. Which at the time seemed like a great idea.
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And me? Oh I was just happy to be there.

But then I began wondering if I could and should get down to the next weight class which cuts off at 132lbs. 

At my last competition I had weighed in at 136lbs for no good reason. Just woke up and decided to weigh 136. Ever since then I've gone back and forth about whether or not I should try to make 132 a consistent thing. 

Welp. Guess a week away from your weigh-in is a great time to test that out! 

[which is completely false. 100% the wrong time to decide to lose 10 pounds. Don't tell me what to do.]

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With pounds to the ground and excitement in the air, we were ready to get the comp underway. It is truly one of the coolest things to see so many people in one place that share an interest in the sport. Especially seeing so many women that embrace being strong.

Tot and Ti right before their bench attempts

7 Hours and 18 lifts later (3 attempts in each lift-squat, bench, deadlift) we were finally done. Honestly, this was by far one of the toughest times I've experienced since I've started powerlifitng and quite possibly in life as well.  It seemed like the perfect storm of all things stacked against me. As mentioned, I dropped weight to lift in 148 and I feel like it ultimately effected my strength. My Aunt Flow came to visit the day before the competition started (all you women out there know what I'm talking about). BUT to top it off, the week prior I strained my back while deadlifting. It hurt so badly that I could barely bend over, let alone lift a weight. (Note: I was extremely fatigued the day I hurt my back. It wasn't because powerlifting is dangerous. I probably could have hurt my back doing anything at that point). Plus, add internal & external expectations into the mix. Stir all those things together & try to perform at your best against the best in the nation.

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Na, don't do that – Tot has done it for you. Plus cramps are stupid so why put that on yourself?

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Ti is right! Nevertheless, the scenario above is the exact reason that I love this sport. It is mentally & physically tough; sometimes pushing you to your limits and you have to figure out a way to get through it and come out even better on the other end.
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I don't know that in my Time of Depletion I had that exact, beautiful thought - but! I will tell you I thought some thangs. 
Like, real deep pensive things. 

To Tot's point though, this was 100% a mind over matter experience. I was well under 1,000 calories from Monday until my weigh-in (and I'm an eater guys, an E-A-T-E-R) and very dehydrated (which actually doesn't bother me since I loath H20). I sat in a sauna the night before in layers and went from self-pity to empowerment to extreme fatigue to cleaning my room – I don't understand why people do drugs when your body is this wild naturally.

After getting into Vegas I was still 2 pounds over and proceeded to create a very effective hotel bathroom sauna. No old nude women doing awkward stretches, it truly was lovely.

Not until a bit after 11am was I able to call myself a 132 competitor and begin to replace everything lost. I always imagined that moment to be so glorious - shovel food, no holes barred.

Nah.

The refeed is work. Diry, dirty work that doesn't taste good or bring any happiness as food should.

But my abs? ooo-wee! I never knew they were in there until I deprived them of sustenance! Sorry dear abdominals, but it was nice to see ya for a hot second.

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Even though I was in immense pain and Ti lost her abs; we ended up taking 2nd place in our respective weight classes and 1st in everyone's hearts (ok ok maybe not but it sounded good) ☺