BRAIN GAINS

Today, the bar told me some things about myself.

Lifters know how much there is to be learned from lifting (a beautiful depiction of this is written here - Why Women Need Iron) - both physically and metaphorically. I'm learning more and more that these lessons are somehow physical and metaphor all at the same time. Your mind goes through just about as much as your body does during a heavy lift, a tough training cycle, an injury or a victory. I've learned many, many life lessons though athletics but none quite like the knowledge bombs that heavy lifting drops.

This morning in particular, the bar shared with me some things I probably didn't want to hear - and I really don't like being told what to do.
The blessing and the curse with heavy weight is just that - it's heavy. It's heavy and it's honest. There's no circumventing 100 pounds because 100 pounds is always going to weigh 100 pounds and it's going to tell you exactly what it is - 100 pounds.
The road to that 100 pounds is exactly what it is, there's no cheating it (ok so that's debatable but let's put on our drug-free caps here). While on that road, each milestone has to be conquered otherwise 100 pounds is going to sit right where it's at with it's 100 pound self - out of reach. It's not fleeting and it's not trying to trick anyone by getting heavier, it's just waiting there for it's seeker to patiently stay the course and do the work. Then that 100 turns to 150 or 200 and the game is just the same.

My 100 pounds (175 to be exact) told me I was a runner.

After a few climbing sets to warm-up, I strapped on my brand new sparkly white belt and approached my heavy set of 8. In it's regular, honest fashion - that sh!* was heavy. I dropped into the squat and all of the "I can't" voices started. The irritation that the first one was this hard, that it was Monday, that it was 6am, that I definitely couldn't be expected to do 8 without rest.
I stood after my second and asked my coach if he was serious - like it was his fault. I wanted to hear a "whoops my bad" or "no just do a few" to validate my negative thoughts and make me feel like they weren't weakness whining.

No dice.

Every single squat was honest with me. Every single squat weighed 175lbs and it wasn't going to give me an easy out or a modifier to help me "feel" strong - I had to be  strong.

So I was. I felt every pound and every rep. I lifted the weight for exactly what it was and I listened to what it had to tell me.

The finest Strug Face in the West

It hit me that when things get uncomfortable and heavy in my lifts, I want to find the excuse as to why I don't feel powerful. I want to hear a modifier or a reason as to why it's hard - almost excusing my weakness. In my life I do the same thing. I know I have a strong work ethic and that I can push through bad situations, yet when these things reveal themselves I oppose them. I oppose change, I oppose the hard things and the things that hurt or are uncomfortable. I'd rather run from these things than deal with them even when I know I eventually will.

When the weight got heavy and the lift got hard - I was exposed. Not just my body but my mind. Instead of pushing my body through the honesty of the weight I opposed it. Instead of focusing on the empowerment of my physical strength I was impatient and let 'heavy' translate as 'impossible'.

Certain things in life can't be run from. Certain things have to be conquered on the road to whatever life's 100lbs may be - otherwise it's never obtained. 100lbs is going to be 100lbs and it's not going to change itself so I can feel comfortable.


Cheers to #MoneyOnThaFloMonday